HOME

HOME.
A word that brings comfort to so many people...
and yet I have not felt like I have had a home since high school.

Because of the journey I am on and the places I have lived, it is hard to feel like I belong anywhere. Eventually I hope to put down roots somewhere. I am thankful for my experiences in different places, but HOME is a tough word for me.

Since my parents divorced when I was an adult, it makes it even harder because my nuclear family unit is separated. While each of them have a house, I'm not sure I will ever truly feel at home in either place. (I have a great relationship with both my parents + stepparents... there's just something about feeling like you truly belong somewhere that I am in desperate need to experience as I try to create my own home somewhere).

As my own family unit of one now, I am on a search for a place to belong.
It could be DC.
It could be somewhere else.

As I am reading the #LentChallenge through the NT, I read John 10-14. The verse that stuck out was John 14.23: Jesus replied, "All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our HOME with each of them."

As my roommate can tell you, I tend to have a little bit of clutter. I have piles all over my apartment. Organized piles, but piles nonetheless. The same thing happens to my heart. Unnecessary stuff takes up space that doesn't need to be there... It reminded me of a song from high school:

My prayer for Lent is that God will take over and make things clean in my heart. I tend to deal with heart issues a lot more than visible sins.

HOME: A place of comfort where people can be real.

Small Groups

I'm a few weeks into my two small groups: Theology 101 and Storyline. Both make my head hurt for different reasons.

I joined Theology 101 in hopes that my Alpha group from the fall would stay together and have more great conversations. Since the fall, however, we have had two people move to different cities and most of the others joined different small groups.

I have continued going to Theology 101 because I find it intriguing. I have never been one to think through why I believe what I do. It is really great to see different sides and understand where people are coming from when you talk to them. I am not naturally into debates, but we are always asked to pick a side in the discussions. It has definitely been stretching me to think through some common beliefs I have had for years and why I choose to believe what I do.

Storyline is a small group based on Donald Miller's book. It is plotting our own life story timeline and seeing how we can use what we have been through to further the Kingdom of God. It makes me miss my home church in MI (Storyline Church) a lot. The people in the group are sharing their stories -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. I shared mine last week. I still cry. It still hurts even after ten years since most of the hardest events in my life have happened. Our group leader, Joel, does life coaching on the side, so I am hoping to meet up with him at some point before our group is finished to talk through life.

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday. He said "You cannot imagine the amount of people who feel alone in this city. You are NOT ALONE." I share this to let you know that as well. It was comforting for me to hear those words. I am making small steps to try to find friends/community here, but lately I have felt lonely. It is worth the risk. Worth the effort. Worth the fight.

It's OK to not be OK

I have a confession: I am not OK.

I am exhausted.
There are several reasons for this exhaustion, but I have hit a wall in my protege year.
I did not believe it when people on staff told me it would happen.

This also happens to be the season of Lent, a time in the Church calendar I am finally observing.
It is hard.

I am doing the #LentChallenge.
I am giving up something in my life that has become an idol.
I am filling that time with a 40 day NT reading plan.

God is truly challenging me in this time period. I think it is a time I will look back on as a preparation for good things. It is just hard for the moment.

Please keep me in prayer.
I need community.
I need God's Word.
I need encouragement.

Just keepin' it real.
Thanks for reading.
Next post will be about the two small groups I am in this semester (which will be happier than this post, but I am truly embracing this sadness/somber time and all that God has to teach me in it)!

BIG NEWS!

This summer, I am going to NORTHERN IRELAND!

Ok, there you have it.
No it's not a job offer.
Yes, it requires MORE fundraising.
But I am so excited and I know God will provide.

You can read more about the trip at NCC's mission site, Aone:eight. This ties in well with what I am gaining from my experiences as a protege. We will be helping a church put on a week long festival in the City of Derry. It will include concerts, which makes me really excited. This trip is also the encouraged youth trip, so I might get to work alongside middle school and high school students as well. There are other teams coming from other churches.

I am hoping my NCC network will be able to provide most of it, but I wanted to offer you the opportunity to be a shareholder in this part of my protege journey.

We are doing fundraisers locally as a mission team.
The total cost is $2400. I'm hoping to raise $24 a day for 100 days.

If I raise more than $2400, it goes into the general mission fund.
That being said, I could also use support in my personal support raising.

For the past six months, support has averaged to around $1000 each month, but they are not at all consistent. This month, I received less than $500 (my half of the rent is $600), which is what I get on a consistent basis. People who give one time gifts offset that cost. God is faithful to provide (even when I struggle to see how it will happen). Please consider giving, whether it is a one time gift or monthly giving for the next six months!

The Justice Conference

This weekend I volunteered to work the Justice Conference at Ebenezers. I was there to troubleshoot if we had any sound/lighting difficulties (imagine me, technologically-impaired, running sound/lights!). God works daily miracles. ha.

Speaking of miracles, I witnessed one this weekend. Our Internet at the coffeehouse was slow and not working correctly Friday night, the start of the conference. We were live streaming the conference on our screens, so Internet was vital. Our production guys were working right up until people came. The Internet worked and I am claiming that miracle! Thank you, Jesus!

So much good content at The Justice Conference. A lot of the speakers were from DC.

My favorite speaker was talking about justice in the education system. Her name was Nicole Fulgham, a Michigan native living in DC (she went to UofM -- GO BLUE!). She spoke about The Expectations Project. She taught in Compton and talked about the difference in education for her students compared to those in Beverly Hills. It's a matter of awareness, funding, parent involvement, community involvement, and just an overall interest in setting kids up for success.

Great weekend. Long day but soooooooooo good.

Good Busy

As an introvert, I'm not ever sure that there's a good side to busyness. Lately I have had a lot to chew on because I have been learning a lot, meeting with new people, and hearing people's stories.

Have had great conversations with

• a guy who works at a local church as the small group coordinator. I loved hearing his background in ministry, what God is doing through the small groups, and the fact that most people don't think they will like living in DC but end up loving it!
• Monday night I went to another concert venue to see past performers from Ebz. It was great to touch base with the musicians as well as hang out with a girl from my Freshmen of the City small group.

I decided to get back on Twitter. This is my fourth attempt. @JenniButtonUSA because I'm pretty sure one of my other three attempts was simply jennibutton, but I shut it down. ha. Also there's a South African designer with my name.

February... six months into the protege "program". I really hate calling it a program because really it's just LIFE! I was telling someone earlier that it's less of a program and more networking and placing yourself in a posture of learning. 

Speaking of learning... 

At staff meeting on Tuseday, we talked about the Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. Like the normal 5 languages, the choices are Touch (although that was left off the survey for workplace because it does not score high on anyone's workplace quiz), service, affirmation, quality time, and gifts.

My top two in everything are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation. 

I also took the Strengthsfinder test again. Mine are Achiever, Learner, Intellection, Input, Discipline. Last time I took it in 2011, I did not get input but rather developer. Interesting that I switched one...

That's the update! You guys are awesome! 

Thanks for reading.

Normal Work Week

You may be wondering: What do I do on an average week? I can't remember if I've shared my normal work week schedule, but it looks something like this:

Monday: Work on updating shows on our websites, send reminder details to baristas and artists about shows that weekend, send follow up thank you emails to artists who played that weekend.
Tuesday: Meetings, Meetings, Meetings (staff meetings, weekly meeting with Juliet, weekly meeting with the other proteges)
Wednesday: Weekly luncheon rental set up and tear down (this is also when I get to master my A/V skills... Paul Rice would be so proud) For those who did not have the privilege of knowing Paul, he was the sound engineer for KCU. I was in Destiny, our school's singing outreach group and he was the sound tech for that. A wonder behind a sound board and hilarious. Was never my professor, but I learned a lot about life and good music from him. Miss him so much!
Thursday - Saturday: concerts
(My normal days off are Saturday and Sunday).

My favorite time is Tuesday morning. We have weekly staff meetings when we share what is going on throughout all seven locations. We get updates from missionaries who are home, wins across all ministries, and hear from Pastor Mark (or campus pastors) about what they are learning from God. Mark is great at continuing to share the vision of NCC. DREAM BIG. THINK LONG. PRAY HARD. (Yes, all the things Mark tweets, he really does say... a lot... sometimes I wish I had a voice recorder to just hit every time he talks because there's always something great...)

I have slowly built relationships with people throughout the weeks I have been here. I am recognizing artists as they come back to play at Ebenezers. Like I said in my last post, we are hosting a concert with nine artists in one night each month. If people are not playing, they usually come out to support the other artists. So cool to see how the small things add up to the big things.

This is unlike any other ministry job I have had. I love that I am allowed the freedom to engage in conversations with people and be part of the real world, if that makes sense. Too often church leaders do not know people who do not know Christ. I love what I get to do in showing people simple ways that God loves them... even if it is by just having water available to artists who come to play at Ebz. Simple hospitality goes a long way.